30 December 2025

Session 20: About Voon's Goons...


Since the Bros have now done a one-way Plane Shift to the afterlife, let's check in with Voon's goons to see how they're doing. When we last left them in Session 17, Voon had enough of Bloody Brogallo's reckless battles and decided to put some serious distance between himself and the Bros. We headed west and continued for several months, ultimately settling in the western city of Averdivock. 

Voon as a L9 fighter is thinking that it would be nice to take over a castle for his own and start carving out his own little empire. Extorting peasants and merchants for "military protection" is far more appealing that watching your comrades getting eaten by hydras, after all and Averdivock is well known for having all the creature comforts any respectable gentleman could want. He sends the Hench-bros out on recon while he starts making a list of the more interesting brothels in the city...and the richer caravan routes.

A week later, the Hench-bros return with a map of the environs, including a well maintained nearby castle occupied by a large group of bandits. Voon decides to try to convince the bandits to join him on a caravan raid and then turn on them after they've been weakened by the irritating caravan mercenary guards.

Voon's Goons make a slow and obvious march towards the bandit keep and approach under a flag of parley. The bandit leader, naturally suspicious but impressed by the balls on this "batshit crazy" fighter, agrees to the parley and hears what Voon has to say. 

Voon informs the bandits about the large caravan that is on the way to the city and that it's too heavily protected for him to plunder on his own. He knows a location where their combined forces could hit the caravan out of view of the Averdivock authorities and easily take the plunder to the nearby city of Ashtel for easy liquidation. A reaction roll of 72%/15% means that the bandit leader is suspicious but goes along with the plan as his greed wins over his black heart.

The combined group surprises the caravan and quickly dispatches the guards and takes the merchants captive. Voon executes his planned betrayal...and it does not go well.

Voon's mercenaries are wiped out to a man. His henchmen all fail morale and surrender to the bandit lord. A rare natural 100 on the reaction roll means the Primo Bandito decides he likes the way they fought and accepts them into the band. As for Voon? Well...as a famous man once said "I'll keep the money and you can have the rope."

Thus ends the saga of Voon de Goon.

26 December 2025

Session 19: The Quick and the Dead

 


It's been a while since we've journeyed with the Bros and they're in pretty dire financial straits. Since I'm doing a BrOSR solo campaign, I'm using 1:1 time and that means the clock has been running during my unanticipated prolonged absence. I set up a spreadsheet some time ago to track expenses and update as the calendar ticked by so I didn't have to worry about tracking minutiae during downtime or extended breaks and the results are in!

As a refresher, Blastikus started rehabbing and expanding the Obsidian Tower to make it a base of operations for his future endeavors. This required an outlay of 207,909gp to rebuild and refortify the Citadel as well as to recruit sufficient mercenaries to man it against the numerous enemies the Bros have acquired over the past few years.

My real world hiatus has meant I haven't been able to send out the Bros since last summer and I was hilariously surprised when I looked at the spreadsheet and saw old Blastikus was 30,810gp in the hole due to the classic accounting challenge of "expenses > income". Time to hit the road for loot if we ever expect Blasty to level up again!

I roll on the Rumor Table and come up with The City of zul Korizik. This is pretty cool since Blastikus had previously sent the Hench-orcs to scout it, so I randomly generate the dungeon and we're off to the races.

The journey to the city is uneventful and the Bros leave the Brocenaries on the surface while they make their way below. The first few rooms are empty, but the Bros quickly stumble upon a rival adventuring party of 9 characters and fall upon them in a greed fueled bloodlust.

They win surprise and the first round of melee, quickly dispatching 4 mook henchmen and injuring two of the leaders. The remaining NPCs put up another round of resistance before horribly failing a morale check and surrendering in the hopes of ransoming themselves.

Some skillful interrogation by the Bros causes the L7 druid and L11 Magic-user to reveal that they were investigating new reports of Chaos infestation seeping upwards from the lower levels. The Bros decide to investigate further and leave the captives in the hands of the Brocenaries while they resume the delve. They proceed downwards to level 2 where they encounter a pack of giant scorpions, resulting in the death of Krall due to the poison stingers of the beasts. The Bros collectively shrug their shoulders and press on where they run into a pair of Stone Giant scouts who confirm the druid's story and let the party know that the western part of the dungeon level seems to be a strong source of the Chaos emanations that their own shaman have detected.

Parting on relatively good terms from the giants, the party makes their way westwards and ultimately meet group of 7 Blue Slaad. This ill-fated encounter ends with the complete elimination of the Bros...in 3 rounds of combat. 

Damn.

21 months of blood, sweat, and tears in the pursuit of glory, empire and fame brought crashing down in the depths of an ancient corrupted city...in under 3 minutes. New chapters have been written in the Book of the Dead

This is why AD&D fucking rules.

There's no delusional power fantasies of insecure mentally ill societal rejects pondering over "well what would my character do?" fucking garbage. Just raw, unfiltered brutality reminding you that there is no "story" to your character, just the hard reality of bad luck and poor choices cruelly teaching you the consequences of your actions. 

Go ahead and cry your eyes out, you fucking weakling. Crom hears you and cares not. Cthulhu can't tell you apart from the bacteria that cover your meatbag skin suit. Your mewling protestations of "that's not fair!" are worth less than a flea's fart in the wind to the Knight of Swords.

Weep quietly, you loser. Step aside for the next delusional wannabe hero that thinks HIS story will be different and superior to YOUR story. Until, of course, he meets his end in the dark, covered in his own excrement as the rats feast on his still beating heart.

I am going to kinda miss Blastikus, though...


02 August 2025

I'm Not Dead Yet!


Still alive, still angry...just got very busy with work over the summer. Postings will be slow for a few more weeks but should resume around Labor Day. See ya soon!

23 May 2025

Session 18: The Laboratory of Mijo-han the Mad


Blastikus embarks on his journey to Mijo-han the Mad's sanctum with the Hench-orcs and the Brocenary Lancers Third Cohort (17 light horsemen with an L7 captain and two L1 sergeants) in support. Their journey is uneventful and no wandering monsters are encountered. They find the ruined village without much difficulty and after some searching uncover the remains of Mijo-han's dwelling. As they prepare to enter the strange building, the ground begins to shake with great violence before a purple worm (73hp) erupts from below and attacks!

Surprise comes up 3-3 so we proceed to melee.

Round 1: Tied 1-1; all actions simultaneous
Captain Severus orders the Third Lancers to charge and they score a total of 5 hits for 46hp, seriously wounding the beast. Medium lances vs a large opponent on a charge are clearly a devastating attack, as history has so well recorded.

Blastikus hits the worm with his Wand of Frost for 20hp, but the worm makes it save and only takes 10hp.

The hench-orcs make a decent account of themselves as Johnny Smash scores a critical hit for 16hp and Denzel Ramondo hits the worm for another 10hp, killing it.

Since initiative was tied, the worm still makes its attacks before going to Wormhalla. He chomps Johnny Smash for 16hp, neatly bisectig him in its death throes and hits Blastikus with his tail stinger for 6hp. Blastikus, fortunately, makes his save vs poison, rolling a 14 against his target of 13. It is better to be lucky than good, as the saying goes.

Blastikus, still woozy as he metabolizes the worm venom, leads the remaining hench-orcs into the ruined sanctum. After a thorough search, they uncover a hoard of 2,350gp and gems and jewelry worth another 31,296gp. They also discover a  Cloak of Displacement (which Blastikus claims for himself) and a Potion of Heroism that goes to Joey Slash. Further exploration yields a hidden room containing the most valuable part of the hoard: the library containing the life's work of the infamous mage. Blastikus quickly orders the hench-orcs and Brocenaries to load up every last scrap of paper. They make camp overnight and leave in the morning for an uneventful return journey to the Obsidian Tower.

The Blastikus and the hench-orcs all make enough XP to level-up and will be out of play until 6 June 2025. 

20 May 2025

Session 17 Downtime: Voon de Goon is de Gone!


Let's see what the Bros do during their downtime.

Blastikus

  • Since Blastikus has started expanding the fortifications of the Obsidian Tower, let's see how the settlement of Blastum is developing. Blastikus has paid double to expedite the fortifications, so we have a substantial workforce on site. A village/town would be between 600 and 6500 individuals so let's make it easy and do a 6d12x100 roll. We get 46 which means our settlement is now the town of Blastum with 4600 souls drawn from the surrounding areas in search of pay and maybe an escape from being dirt farming hydra chow. 
  • Recognizing the immediate benefits of having a ready pool of experimentation subjects and/or meatshields, he grants all laborers the rights to settle in Blastum after the castle fortifications are finished. He promises his protection in exchange for their future militia service, and the offer seems to be popular (73% reaction roll). Blastikus wants this construction to be completed as quickly as possible and helps out with his summoned elementals whenever possible.
  • Our mage dips into the the equipment of the various fallen mooks and outfits his newest minion, Joey Slash, with appropriate armor and stabby things (see Session 17). He now has a crew of 3 half-orc and one human fighters at his bidding and as his bodyguard. They've been behaving so far, but he always keeps his options open with having Charm Person ready to go if they start getting too fidgety.
  • He keeps Methikles cooking up Potions of Extra-Healing, knowing that they're handy for keeping meatshields vertical as well as possible future trade goods.
  • Blastikus is starting to nervous about the expenses of the fortifications and decides it's about time he takes the hench-bros to the ruined village in Hex 306.297 to salvage what he can from the Laboratory of Mijo-han the Mad. Voon and Dejing will be otherwise occupied for a few more weeks, so now's as good a time as any. We'll run a session for them next time and see what they find.

Brogallo

  • Bloody Brogallo is still distrustful of the mage and his motives in fortifying the citadel and needs to decide if it's time to strike off on his own. 
    Reaction roll to see if he decides to put some distance between him and Blastikus: 76% (Friendly; times are pretty good so he stays)

Dejing pan Ark

  • Even though she's in training until 5 June 2025, Dejing continues to contemplate her immediate and long term future and needs to decide if it's time to make a move of her own. 
    Reaction roll to see if she forms a guild: 66% (Uncertain but 55% prone to positive; a follow-up roll of 95% means she decides to stick around for the action. There's always time to worry about this later...)

Kleptikos

  • Kleptikos, suspicious of both Blastikus' building projects and Dejing pan Ark's unusually pensive moods of late, contemplates striking off on his own. 
    Reaction roll to see if he forms a guild: 33% (Uncertain but 55% prone to negative; a follow-up roll of 17% means he decides the time isn't quite right)

Krall 

  • He's still researching poisons until 29 May 2025 and completely absorbed in the process.

Voon deGoon

  • Although in training until 5 June 2025, Voon is contemplating his future in lights of Bloody Brogallo's penchant for ultraviolence and Blastikus' strange obsession with the ancient citadel. He needs to decide if it's time to leave. Reaction roll to see if he decides to put some distance between him and Brogallo: 16% (Hostile, immediate action)
  • Voon finally decides that life with Bloody Brogallo is getting a little too dangerous and he's better off on as a solo artist. He's going to hire his own mercenary force and see if he can take over an existing fortress for his own and start making peasants pay him, like Blastikus is trying to do. All too conscious of Blastikus' growing power, he decides to head as far west as he can go. We'll see what happens to him in the future.

Next session: Blastikus and his Hench-bros plunder the Lost Laboratory of Mijo-han the Mad!



05 May 2025

Session 17: The Bros and the Lost City of dul Qazik



Rolling on the rumor table, we get a 4 so Brogallo decides he's going to visit the distant Lost City of dul Qazik to search for the treasure shown in the map that he recovered from the Oni. The Lost City is about 200 miles south, so using the movement rate shown on pg 102 of the PHB, the light horse can move at a rate of 24" which translates to 24 miles per day. I'm using 30 mile hexes on my world map, which means their movement rate works out to roughly 9 days of travel each way. Since this is a solo game, I don't really feel like breaking it down to 6 mile hexes etc, and I'll be checking once per hex for random encounters. Likewise, I'm going to assume the intervening area is sparsely populated and won't generate terrain/features like I do with the main maps.

Krall is researching poisons and out of play until 29 May 2025. The Bros will take the Brocenary Lancers Second and Third Cohorts while leaving the infantry troops to defend the Obsidian Tower. They bring the draft horses along as beasts of burden and set out for the distant city.

Some quick rolls on the relevant DMG Appendix B tables, gives us a ruined city nestled in the mountains. I make 6 rolls to see who's guarding the treasure and build the following table:
  1. Stone Giant
  2. Ogre
  3. Ogre Magi (again!)
  4. Orc
  5. Ice Troll
  6. Xorn
A d6 comes up with a 2, indicating that the Ogres have a lair in the ruined city. I decide that they've taken over the ruins of a former gatehouse, completely unaware of the tomb beneath their feet which contains the treasure that Brogallo seeks. The remaining monsters have their own lairs within the sprawling city and are potential factions that can be bargained with or destroyed, as the dice gods decide.

Their swift journey south is fortuitously uneventful and the Bros do not encounter any wandering wonsters. I roll a d8 to see how many hours it takes them to discover the location marked on the map, getting a 6. This means 36 wandering monster checks which also all come up empty - the Bros' luck holds!
They identify their target and Brogallo tells the Brocenaries to secure a wide perimeter and to keep quiet. The Bros make their way to the gatehouse, quietly enter and surprise a group of 15 ogres with 7 mates, 2 young and 5 ragged prisoners kept in a pen in anticipation of being the featured dish in tonight's ogre feastday.

The Bros definitively win surprise 6-1 and wipe out the ogre males, thanks to the fighters' 3/2 attacks and Blastikus' Wand of Frost. They proceed to melee where it takes them another 5 rounds to eliminate the ogress mates and their vile younglings. The prisoners consist of 2 local peasants, a caveman from the surrounding mountains, an unfortunate brigand that was sold to the ogres by his compatriots, and a half-orc exiled from the orc tribe who also lives elsewhere in the city. 

Blastikus, having grown fond of his half-orc muscle, offers the half-orc employment as a henchman and a 78% reaction shows that he accepts. The peasants return to their village and the brigand joins them, having formed a friendship with the pair while captured. The caveman hoots, grunts, waves his arms around excitedly and flees into the mountains, hopefully finding his way back to his cavepeople.

The Bros continue their explorations of the gatehouse and find the entrance to the underground storeroom containing the treasure they've been seeking, as well as some loot that the ogres had in their lair. All in all, a decent haul...

The Bros begin their journey home. They have 2 wandering monster encounters: a herd of wooly mammoths with a 48% encounter reaction (neutral/uninterested, so I rule they just glance at the tiny humans before continuing on their way) and a dwarven warband of 250 individuals who roll a 55% (neutral/uninterested so I rule they're on a mission of their own and don't feel threatened by an inferior band of loser humans that have the poor taste to associate with half-orcs).

The total trip time is 18 days (9 days each way) so the boys are on the bench until 23 May 2025.

04 May 2025

Session 16: Hench-bros and the Living City of Chaos



Blastikus' Hench-bros decide to follow the southeastern road and to survey the surrounding area in the process. Acting under Blastikus' authority, they recruit laborers from the nearly named town of Blastum as well as the Brocenary Lancers Third Cohort to act as guards. 

They stop along the way at the town of Urliva for refreshment before continuing to the metropolis of Xylard where they gain some information about the surrounding areas and update their maps accordingly. They press onwards to the cities Noinzance-sors and Tasigh, likewise expanding their knowledge. They stop at Tasigh for the night and prepare for the push to the south. 

They've been lucky on their journey thus far and do not encounter any wandering critters on the road. This bit of good luck raises their spirits substantially as they set off the next day. Their good fortune lasts until they reach the ruined city on the treasure map.

The city is vast. Much of it covered in a thick layer of ash as if a great multitude were cremated and their remains used to blot this city from existence. As the party moves further into the ruins, they notice the strangely organic nature of the remnants. There are no right angles to be seen anywhere, all edges being rounded as if they were extruded from the thorax of gigantic insects rather than constructed by the hand of man. There are numerous strange globular buildings unlike anything the bros have ever seen before. More strangely, all structures are covered with obscene runes reminiscent of those at the Obsidian Tower. Every surface is inconceivably, as can be seen by the windblown surfaces and the now illegible runes sanded smooth by the winds of time. Jack Stabby silently curses his greed for bringing him here, but, in a rare bout of brilliance for a half-orc, wisely elects to remain silent about his feelings. 

As the hench-bros search the strange ruins for the hoard, they stumble upon an eight member wolfpack that has been stalking the crumbling remnants of this odd place in search of a meal. The immediate thrill of battle silences their inner misgivings!

Since we've got a 2 on 1 combat for each hench-bro, I'll roll a 50/50 chance for which wolf gets hit until we're back to 1 on 1

Hench-bros win surprise 4-1
Jack Stabby - hit wolf1 for 5
Johnny Smash - 1 hit; 1 crit on wolf3 for 17, killing it
Denzel Ramondo - miss
Dexiu - 1 hit for 4

Round1: Hench-bros win 6-5
Jack Stabby - hit wolf for 7
Johnny Smash - miss
Denzel Ramondo - miss
Dexiu - 1 hit for 6
wolf1 -> Jack Stabby: miss
wolf2 -> Jack Stabby: miss
wolf3: DEAD
wolf4 -> Johnny Smash: hit for 3
wolf5 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss
wolf6 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss
wolf7 -> Dexiu: miss
wolf8 -> Dexiu: miss

Round2: Tied 5-5; all actions simultaneous
Jack Stabby - crit wolf2 for 14, killing it
Johnny Smash - miss
Denzel Ramondo - miss
Dexiu - miss
wolf1 -> Jack Stabby: miss
wolf2 -> Jack Stabby: miss; DEAD
wolf3: DEAD
wolf4 -> Johnny Smash: miss
wolf5 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss
wolf6 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss
wolf7 -> Dexiu: hit
wolf8 -> Dexiu: hit for 8 killing her

Round3: Hench-bros win 2-1
Jack Stabby - hit wolf1 for 7; killing it
Johnny Smash - miss
Denzel Ramondo - miss
Dexiu: DEAD
wolf1 -> DEAD
wolf2 -> DEAD
wolf3: DEAD
wolf4 -> Johnny Smash: hit for 3
wolf5 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss
wolf6 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss
wolf7 -> Dexiu: miss
wolf8 -> Dexiu: miss

Round4: Tied 3-3; all actions simultaneous
Jack Stabby - hit wolf8 for 7hp
Johnny Smash - miss
Denzel Ramondo - miss
Dexiu - DEAD
wolf1 -> DEAD
wolf2 -> DEAD
wolf3 -> DEAD
wolf8 -> Jack Stabby: miss
wolf4 -> Johnny Smash: crit for 6
wolf7 -> Johnny Smash: miss
wolf5 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss
wolf6 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss

Round5: Tied 4-4; all actions simultaneous
Jack Stabby - miss
Johnny Smash - hit wolf7 for 7 killing it
Denzel Ramondo - miss
Dexiu - DEAD


wolf1 -> DEAD
wolf2 -> DEAD
wolf3 -> DEAD
wolf8 -> Jack Stabby: miss
wolf4 -> Johnny Smash: miss
wolf7 -> DEAD; Johnny Smash: miss
wolf5 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss
wolf6 -> Denzel Ramondo: miss

Wolves fail morale check (16%) and flee

Yet another Bro goes into the Dead Book, but such is the adventurer's life...

The group continues its explorations and finally finds the place they believe to be the one on the map. It appears to be the remains of some sort of chalet or manor house, matching the map's description. They put the laborers to work digging out the mansion (and burying Dexiu in the process). It doesn't take long for them to uncover a still intact trapdoor to an underground storage room where they find the promised treasure: a +1 longsword, a +1 military pick, and a suit of +1 leather armor. Random rolls give the sword to Jack Stabby, the pick to Johnny Smash and the armor to Denzel Ramondo (who elects to sell it to Dejing pan Ark upon return since he already has banded mail and shield.

The bros back up and head back the way they came. They again luck out and don't have any encounters on the road so they safely return to the Obsidian Citadel with updated maps, some spiffy new gear and yet more knowledge about the ancient ruins that surround Blastikus' current abode.

25 April 2025

Session 15 Downtime: I Didn't Choose the Hench Life...It Chose ME!


 

I decide henchman and mercenary recruiting costs will be doubled for all Bros henceforth due to Bloody Brogallo's reputation ("He'll make you rich...but your blood will soak the gold!").

Since the Bros are starting to approach upper levels, I'm going to make use of reaction rolls to decide their respective courses of action, when required.

There's lots of activity in this downtime session - let's dive in!

Blastikus

  • Blastiboy decides it's time to stake out a piece of turf for himself. He begins fortifying and expanding the Obsidian Tower as shown below. He's going to make it look like Forte de Nossa Senhora da Graça, but more Lovecraftian cuz, you know, "the stars are right" etc, etc. 
    • (11) Stone buildings (barracks and storehouses)
    • (4) 200ft Curtain walls with battlements
    • (4) Bastion walls with battlements
    • Siege engines will be added after wall construction is complete

  • Blastikus is an impatient sort, so he pays the upcharge of 50% to double construction speed (DMG pg 106). He further sweetens the pot by offering the laborers settlement rights in the surrounding area. A reaction roll of 95% plus his 10% Charisma bonus means the laborers are more than willing to accept terms, especially after seeing how easily the mage and friends cleaned out the tower. This is definitely safer than being Hobgoblin playthings in the western cities. Everything will be ready by 1 October 2025 due to his generous terms. This gives Blastikus some time to get more loot and continue his research.

  • He assigns Methikles the task of continual brewing of Potions of Extra Healing. One potion will be available every week at a cost of 400gp per dose. After Methikles builds up a reserve, Blastikus will re-evaluate what the next project will be.

  • Ever the pragmatist, Blastikus is getting nervous with the potential hostiles and the fact that Johnny Crush was obliterated by the now deceased windwalker. He makes a trip to Tallow Watch, recruits some new henchmen and puts them under Jack Stabby's command.

  • The mage's new minions are:
    • Jack Stabby, L4 half-orc fighter (LE)
    • Johnny Smash L1 half-orc Fighter (LE); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Denzel Ramondo L1 Fighter (CE); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Dexiu L1 Cleric (CE); Equipped from KIA gear

  • Blastikus decides that the loot on the treasure map isn't worth his time, but it would go a long way towards appeasing the new recruits (and toughening them up a bit in the process). He gives the map to Jack Stabby and tells him to run the expedition as he wishes. He then sends the hench-bros to hex 312.309 and tells them to scout along the way and report back. We'll check in on them in the next session.
Brogallo

  • Bloody Brogallo is making a name for himself and is contemplating making a larger move to impact the area. He has some decisions to make:
    1. Does he put some distance between himself and Blastikus, out of his own self interest and before things go bad again? Reaction roll: 54% = Neutral. The peace offering seems to have worked and the environment is stable for now. Not yet time to depart, but he remains ready to leave on a moment's notice.
    2. Does he take himself out of the local action for a few months and pursue the hoard described in his treasure map? Reaction roll: 71% = Neutral with a 55% of positive. A 91% followup means not yet. Perhaps he'll use it as an excuse to make an exit when the time comes...
  • Brogallo decides it's time he had some lackeys personally loyal to him. The mercs are nice, but they are a fickle bunch at the best of time. He hires the following henchmen from Old Brightwood:
    • Adisan L2 Fighter (CN); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Cilanwan L2 Thief (NE); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Salazar L1 Illusionist (NE); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Gamalak L1 Thief (CN); Equipped from KIA gear

  • He sends the hench-bros on a western scouting mission to see if there's somewhere appealing he can occupy as his stronghold. Blastikus' actions in fortifying this musty tower has him thinking some stone walls between him and future unpleasantness is probably a good idea worth emulating.
Dejing pan Ark

  • Dejing has been contemplating her immediate future in light of her association with the Band of Brogallos:
    1. Does she form her own thieves guild somewhere far away from the immediate area, which is still very dangerous for her? Reaction roll: 32% = Uncertain with a 55% negative. A 11% followup means that now is not the time. Perhaps after gathering some more intel...
    2. Does she slip away from the Bros before something ugly happens? Reaction roll: 100% = Enthusiastic (first natural 100 of the campaign BTW) means that she is addicted to the rush and can't tear herself away from the bloodsoaked action and ample loot...yet.
  • She definitely is feeling vulnerable after literally having her armor dissolved by the thessalhydra and losing her former meatshields in the process. She decides more bodyguards are needed and makes her way to Valthrun. She recruits the following henchmen:
    • Harithu L1 Thief (CE); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Nopka L1 Magic-User (CE); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Rundok L1 Fighter (CN); Equipped from KIA gear
Kleptikos
  • Kleptikos is feeling pretty content with the loot he's accumulated, but is ever mindful of the danger involved in doing so. Decision time!
    1. Does he form a guild before one of the other cutthroats gets the idea first? Reaction roll: 48% reaction =Neutral. Stability and complacency win the day.
Krall Diacan
  • Krall is getting nervous with all the recent escalations of threats and decides he needs to perfect his poison skills. He'll be out of action for the next 5 weeks as he researches insinuative poisons (see DMG pg 20). He'll be unavailable until 29 May 2025.
  • Krall, much like the others, is feeling a little exposed without suitable pin cushions to absorb sharp things aimed at him, so he makes the trip with Dejing to Valthrun to recruit some minions:
    • Pashar L1 Thief (N); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Sirriax L1 Fighter (LE); Equipped from KIA gear
    • Stang L1 Fighter (CE); Equipped from KIA gear
Voon deGoon
  • Voon is enjoying the loot, but is not an immense fan of Bloody Brogallo's leadership style. Decision time!
    1. Does he split off before something slimy and hungry decides it wants to taste-test Voon? Reaction roll: 53% reaction =Neutral. He's been influenced by Kleptikos so stability and complacency win the day again

Looks like we're running the hench-bros for a few sessions...let's see if they survive the meat grinder.


    24 April 2025

    Session 15 Part 2: Crushing the Cult of Dagon


    I wanted something weird for the Bros to fight as part of the Circle of Pelagea Dagon cult, so I broke tradition and picked a Thessalhydra from MM2 instead of pure random rolls. Plus it felt right as a boss monster vs the rando hydras I've been rolling - let's see what happens. I decide the cult's spies have seen the Bros coming and sent the avatar of Father Dagon to deal with the interlopers.

    No surprise (4-3) so we proceed to initiative.
    Round 1: Thessalhydra wins 3-1
    Thessalhydra hits Brogallo for 12hp
    Thessalhydra hits Voon deGoon for 8hp
    Thessalhydra hits Kleptikos for 8hp
    Thessalhydra hits Blastikus for 7hp
    Thessalhydra hits Jack Stabby for 5hp
    Thessalhydra hits Culrink twice for 10hp, killing her
    Thessalhydra hits Yelu Falone twice for 12hp, killing her

    Brogallo hits twice for 17hp; -1 head
    Voon deGoon hits for 5hp
    Kleptikos hits for 8hp
    Krall Diacan hits for 8hp
    Blastikus casts Charm Monster, but loses the spell due to Thessalhydra hit

    Round 2: Thessalhydra wins 6-3
    Thessalhydra hits Brogallo for 3hp
    Thessalhydra hits Voon deGoon for 4hp
    Thessalhydra hits Dejing pan Ark for a total of 30hp (including tail grab+bite and acid). Her leather armor and all potions fail the acid saving throw and are destroyed. She's naked and angry!
    Thessalhydra hits Blastikus for 1hp
    Thessalhydra hits Jack Stabby for 2hp

    Brogallo hits twice for 13hp; -1 head
    Kleptikos hits for 4hp
    Krall Diacan hits for 11hp


    Round 3: Tied 4-4; all actions simultaneous
    Brogallo hits twice for 21hp; -1 head
    Voon deGoon hits twice for 15hp; -1 head
    Kleptikos hits for 8hp; -1 head
    Krall Diacan hits for 12hp; -1 head
    Blastikus casts Polymorph Other (let's go with "white fluffy bunny" cuz that's hysterical) on the Thessalhydra which fails its save. It fails the mental check and now believes it is a white fluffy bunny. Awesome!

    Thessalhydra hits Brogallo for 8hp
    Thessalhydra hits Voon deGoon for 6hp
    Thessalhydra hits Jack Stabby for 9hp

    The Bros give Dejing pan Ark a spare cloak and garments, but this will do little to soothe her ire at losing her hench-bros and armor. The cultists will pay for this humiliation!

    Their blood is up as the Bros approach the village. The cultists are waiting for them as the ragged villager cultists form ranks to protect their leaders who are in the middle of a ritual. Blastikus knows that this must be related to the astronomical and metaphysical conjunction he warned the Bros about and tells them as such. Every cultist must die if the Bros are to live!

    I roll a d8 and come up with a 6. The Bros have 6 rounds to stop the ritual before the Avatar of Dagon appears (let's go with a reskinned Shoggoth from Deities and Demigods First Printing because I want to flex with my Old Skool collection...)

    I've rolled up the Dagon Cult as a group of Pilgrims from the MM. We'll be using the campaign mass rules as described in Campaign Procedures and Generators for the troop battles and the Bros will engage in standard AD&D combat

    The Circle of Pelagea cult stats:
    • 44 are equipped with Leather armor and club
    • 44 are equipped with Leather armor and dagger
    Leaders:
    • Patriarch L8 Cleric
    • Canon L6 Cleric, assistant to the Patriarch
    • Curate L4 Cleric, assistant to the Patriarch
    • Adept L2 Cleric, assistant to the Patriarch
    • L5 Monk, bodyguard to the Patriarch
    • L1 Fighter, bodyguard to the Patriarch

    The Brocenary stats:
    Brogallo's Mercs:
    • Brocenary Lancers First Cohort, 10 medium horsemen with Lt and Sgt
    • Brocenary Lancers Second Cohort, 24 light horsemen with Capt and 3 Sgts
    • Brocenary Crossbowmen, 24 light crossbowmen with Capt and 3 Sgts
    Blastikus' Mercs:
    • Brocenary Lancers Third Cohort, 17 light horsemen with Capt and 2 Sgts
    • Brocenary Cataphracts First Cohort, 15 heavy footmen with Capt and 2 Sgts
    No Surprise 6-5
    Round 1: Tied 4-4; all actions simultaneous
    Brogallo charges and hits Patriarch for 18hp
    Voon deGoon charges and hits Canon for 16hp
    Kleptikos charges and hits Curate for 6hp
    Dejing pan Ark charges and hits Monk for 6hp

    Adept hits Krall Diacan for 6hp

    Brocenary Lancers First Cohort score 7 kills on Cultist Unit 1
    Brocenary Lancers Second Cohort score 14 kills on Cultist Unit 1
    Brocenary Crossbowmen score 9 kills on Cultist Unit 1

    Brocenary Lancers Third Cohort score 13 kills on Cultist Unit 2
    Brocenary Cataphracts First Cohort score 10 kills on Cultist Unit 2

    Cultist Unit 1 score 7 kills on Brocenary Lancers First Cohort
    Cultist Unit 1 score 8 kills on Brocenary Lancers Second Cohort
    Cultist Unit 1 score 8 kills on Brocenary Crossbowmen

    Cultist Unit 2 score 6 kills on Brocenary Lancers Third Cohort
    Cultist Unit 2 score 5 kills on Brocenary Cataphracts First Cohort

    Cultist Unit 1 fail morale and flee; Brocenaries run them down and kill them all
    Cultist Unit 2 fail morale and flee; Brocenaries run them down and kill them all


    Round 2: Tied 5-5; all actions simultaneous
    Brogallo hits Patriarch for 13hp
    Voon deGoon hits Canon for 9hp, killing him
    Kleptikos hits Curate for 6hp
    Dejing pan Ark hits Monk for 5hp

    Patriarch hits Brogallo for 8hp
    Canon hits Voon deGoon for 4hp
    Curate hits Kleptikos for 2hp
    Monk hits Dejing pan Ark for 3hp
    Cult Fighter hits Jack Stabby for 2hp


    Round 3: Bros win 3-1
    Brogallo hits Patriarch for 19hp, killing him
    Kleptikos hits Curate for 7hp, killing him
    Krall Diacan hits Adept for 8hp, killing him
    Dejing pan Ark hits Monk for 9hp
    Blastikus hits Cult Fighter hits for 6hp, killing him
    Jack Stabby hits Monk for 7hp, killing him

    The Bros have wiped out the Circle of Pelagea, ending the threat...for now.

    Downtime will be interesting...

    Session 15 Part 1: The Purging of the Obsidian Tower

     

    "We have a problem," Blastikus announced as he entered the feast hall where the Bros were enjoying the numbing effects of a fine batch whiskey that followed their more than acceptable evening meal.

    "Pfft...what else is new?" Voon chuckled after emitting an epic belch that would shame an ogre. "Who needs to die to let me get drunk in peace?" The rest of the group quietly chuckled, still lost within the warm embrace of the liquor.

    "The Thing that's imprisoned beneath our feet," Blastikus quietly retorted, fixing his boon companions with a grim stare.

    Instantly and now painfully sober, Brogallo rose to his feet and said, "That's a harsh joke to make on a fine night, my friend. You are joking, yes?"

    "Sadly not. I've been studying the carvings on the upper levels of the catacombs and comparing them to the astrological progression. The carvings are all wards against the Outer Dark and used by insane fools to call down the abominations that live there. These particular wards are tied to the progression of our cosmos and other, stranger planes. We are approaching a time of a particularly rare alignment where the stars are right and that will significantly weaken the barriers between our realm and the frozen insanity where the Thing originates. This means that its power will increase dramatically and it will be able to summon whatever multitude of horrible thralls it has bound. All the indications show this abomination has been bound here a very, very, long time which means it is very, very angry and looking for revenge. It knows us and will most likely blame us for its imprisonment."

    "We had nothing to do with trapping that monster here," objected Krall. 

    "I'm sure it will love to debate the finer points of extradimensional summoning protocols and rituals. Perhaps you'd like to brew some tea and invite it over for a stern lecture?"

    "Fine - point taken. Let's kill it and then take care of those freak villagers with the serpent fetish. I'm getting bored," Krall said as he shakily rose to his feet. "But maybe we wait until I can only see one suicidal mage in front of me."

    In the morning, the annoyingly hung over group of Bros gather their apprentices and make their ways to the dungeon entrance. Leaving Blastikus' mercenary group to guard the fortified entrance to the depths, the Bros retrace their steps to the 2nd level summoning room. I check for random encounters every turn but the Bros luckily seem to have pacified the first level and most of the second level.

    Blastikus, expecting trouble, casts Conjure Fire Elemental and the boys get ready to rock and roll.

    I rule that no surprise is called for since both sides are aware of each other. We proceed to combat.

    Round 1: Air Elemental wins 4 to 1
    Air Elemental uses its whirlwind ability, insta-killing the hench-bros Johnny Crush, Shen Pisakar, Tuqtamur Haoennor, and Zahm Al-Bashir since they're all under 3HD. Everyone else takes 8hp.
    Brogallo hits twice for 34hp, Kleptikos hits for 4hp and Voon hits with a crit for 22hp, killing the elemental.

    What a difference a few months and decent kit makes! Krall is pissed, though, since he just lost his brand new hench-bros...c'est la guerre.


    The Bros finish exploring the remainder of level 2, not finding anything of note and again not encountering any wandering monsters. They find a set of stairs leading down and make their way to level 3.

    Right off the bat, the boys get a random encounter in room 1 and a roll on the DMG tables comes up with 2 Black Dragons that are in their lair. This doesn't make any sense, and I invoke my DM ability of Reskin Monster. Let's just say they're formless black entities radiating the frigid cold of the void between the stars and go for it!

    No surprise (6-4) so we proceed to initiative.
    Round 1: Bros win 3 to 2
    Brogallo hits twice for 31hp
    Voon hits for 8hp
    Kleptikos hits for 12hp, killing Formless Void #1
    Fire Elemental hits for 19hp
    Blastikus casts Magic Missile for 16hp
    Jack Stabby hits with a crit for 14hp, killing Formless Void #2

    The Conjure Fire Elemental spell expires and the boys are now on their own. They collect the mountain of gems and platinum pieces that these abominations had been bound to as guardians. Deciding that the loot will be safe for now, they elect to press on and return for the treasure later.

    The rest of the dungeon level is surprisingly empty until we get to the last room. Appendix A pg171 TABLE V. F.: CHAMBER OR ROOM CONTENTS (d20) comes up with Monster Only (13 on a d20) and I roll an Aerial Servant. NICE! This builds on the theme built with the Air Elemental on level 2. Time to bleed!

    The Aerial Servant wins surprise 3-1. Ouch!
    Surprise 1: Hits Brogallo for 17hp
    Surprise 2: Hits Voon for 23hp

    Round 1: Bros win 5-1
    Brogallo hits twice for 17hp
    Voon hits for 14hp
    Kleptikos hits for 6hp
    Fire Elemental hits for 14hp
    Krall hits for 7hp
    Blastikus casts Lightning Bolt for 36hp; Aerial Servant fails save and is killed

    All in all, a mixed bag of emotions for the Bros tonight. Doubtless the ample loot will go a long way toward soothing their grief over the hench-bros that were ripped apart in the Air Elemental's blender attack but, hey, Murder Hobo-ing Ain't Easy!!!

    Let's see what happens in part 2 of our session...


    11 April 2025

    Session 14 Downtime: The Reunion Tour

     


    "Sergeant, please confirm what I'm seeing. Look at the southern approach, just beyond the hills we use for catapult practice", Captain Titus said to Sergeant Domitian as they stood guard on the newly built palisades surrounding the Obsidian Tower.

    The sergeant looked in the indicated direction and replied "Confirmed sir. I count about 30 horsemen and about as many infantry. Looks like crossbowmen. Those must be their officers in front. I think they might be in the mood to parley...they're not in formation and I don't see any siege weapons."

    "I concur. Send a runner to alert Master Blastikus and tell the men to suit up, just in case we need to make the grass grow", the steely eyed captain said, loosening the sword at his hip. "Man the ballistae, but don't fire unless I give the command". 

    "Yes sir!", Domitian responded, before turning away to execute his commander's orders.

    Titus, a veteran of many campaigns, kept the intruders in his sharp stare as their troops wisely halted just outside of ballista range and two of the officers continued forward on horseback. One was clearly a hardened warrior in well maintained banded mail and the other a somewhat nondescript man in leather armor. Possibly a scout or an advisor, but clearly someone accustomed to blade work, judging by the well kept blade at his side. Both had seen recent combat based on their bound wounds and bedraggled appearance.

    "That's far enough stranger," Titus called out, "State your intent or suffer the consequences."

    "Tell your liege that Brogallo would speak with him," the warrior called out. "We have business to discuss."

    "Well, well, well...look who finally made an appearance," Blastikus said to the captain as he took his place next to him on the parapet. "Ho, Brogallo! You've got a set of balls to show your face around here after leaving me to die at the claws of that dragon. Give me a reason not to splatter your brains all over the field."

    "I killed Zenabarithon two days ago and brought you some presents. Now are we going to scream at each other like street whores or speak like the comrades we once were and can yet be again?"

    Blastikus softly chuckled to himself as he quietly said to himself ,"Hmph...he always had a knack for being a charming little bastard, in a crude sort of way." Addressing himself to Brogallo, he called out "Fortune favors the brave, my friend. Tell your men to behave and then advance to the gates with Kleptikos. We can have a drink and talk about what brings you to my door."

    Downtime Activity

    • Brogallo feels out the mercs over the treasury funds recovered from the usurpers. A reaction roll of 77% = Friendly. Brogallo convinces the troops that since they all bled for the funds, they are the rightful owners. The Bros distribute generous bonuses to all troops with promises of more to come and, as is frequently the sad case in military history, greed defeats honor. The mercs continue their loyal service to the Bros, rapidly forgetting any lingering sense of obligation to the plundered citizens.

    • Brogallo makes a peace offering to Blastikus (The spell books of the recently deceased Man Lee and Manderbro, a +2 Staff, a Brooch of Shielding, a Figurine of Wondrous Power (Serpentine Owl), and a Wand of Negation) in the interest of soothing any past grievances. Of course, these are all former possessions of the fallen Bros and of little use to Brogallo personally so he's not really impacted by his ostensible generosity.

      I decide the loot is worth a +20% bonus (mainly due to the spell books). A reaction roll of 61% + 20% = Friendly means Blastikus is more than willing to bury the hatchet.

    • Brogallo proposes reuniting the original Bros, noting that as a combined force they have a much better chance of surviving the increasingly dangerous threats that are manifesting. They both exchange tales of their victories and setbacks, with Blastikus eventually deciding that Brogallo's proposal had merit. After all, it would be easy enough to convince Krall to kill Brogallo in his sleep if things started to fall apart again. Krall was a bloodthirtsty bastard after all, and the prospect of yet more loot would quickly melt any objections.

    • Having discussed the odd inhabitants of the village of Eastsea, they agree that something suspicious is going on. It was just a little too coincidental that Brogallo was ambushed by a hydra, normally an extremely rare abomination, so soon after leaving the village. When coupled with the fact that they Bros have encountered not one, but two such monsters (see Session 6) in their travels indicates there are events in motion that are far from usual.

    • Dejing pan Ark and her henchmen ask to join the Band of Brogallos. A reaction roll of 38% + 25% = Uncertain (36% = positive) means that Brogallo is willing to accept the former usurper, reasoning that the more duplicitous conspirators are now crow food and it's better to have more swords than less for some of the future endeavors he has planned.

    • The Bros secure the treasure in the second level of the tower's dungeon, knowing that the threat of the hostile air elemental trapped therein will deter the mercenaries from running off with the loot. Blastikus makes note of some future purchases and spell research he will undertake to make a more permanent location for their loot.

    • Brogallo, Voon deGoon, Kleptikos pay each the mercs 100gp combat bonus pay; officers get 100gp/level

    • Brogallo, Voon deGoon, Kleptikos all have enough XP to advance and are in training until 24 April 2025

    • A random roll on the rumor table decides the newly reunited Bros will investigate the Hamlet of Eastsea to see exactly what is going on with those fishy bastards

    10 April 2025

    Session 14 Part 2: Hydra Head Games


    Flush with success over the usurpers (and with one of the cohort in chains along with her henchmen), Brogallo confers with Kleptikos and they agree to continue on the trail of the Tallow Watch usurpers while the trail is hot. They decide to make their way westwards and begin searching for the sweet, sweet loot that the junta is  temporarily holding for the Bros. They travel south and hit the road to Valthrun without incident, but as they begin their journey to the city, they are attacked by a 14 headed hydra in hex 307.295. Life gets complicated sometimes...

    The hydra surprises the Bros 5-2 and is 17" distant. It spends the surprise segments closing to melee range and attacks the Bros directly, somehow sensing that they are the leaders of this expedition.

    Round 1: Tied 4-4
    Kleptikos and Man-Lee all wound separate heads
    Brogallo and Voon de Goon each kill 1 head
    Hydra scores multiple d12 hits on all party members
    12 heads remaining

    Round 2: Hydra wins 4-1
    Hydra scores multiple d12 hits on all party members; Man-Lee and Manderbro are not happy
    Bros each kill a head
    6 heads remaining

    Round 3: Bros win 6-4
    No Tiki, Man-Lee and Manderbro each wound a head
    Voon de Goon kills 1 head
    Hydra kills Man-Lee and Manderbro
    5 heads remaining

    Round 4: Hydra wins 6-1
    Hydra wounds remaining bros; No Tiki is near death
    Brogallo and Voon de Goon each kill 1 head
    3 heads remaining

    Round 5: Hydra wins 2-1
    Hydra kills No Tiki
    Brogallo and Voon de Goon each kill 1 head
    1 head remaining

    Round 6: Bros win 6-5
    Brogallo kills final hydra head

    Well, that sucked. The Bros lost one of their frontline fighters and both magic-users. Based on this unfortunate setback, Brogallo decides that the Tallow Watch junta will have to wait for now. Considering the heavy wounds of the remaining Bros, he thinks a little humility will go a long way and decides to pay a visit to Blastikus' nearby tower and see if some gifts will help soothe hurt feelings and allow him to recover in the mage's tower.

    Session 14 Part 1: Berserker Beatdown

     


    Brogallo and Kleptikos decide that the usurpers (and the Old Brightwood treasury funds they stole) are too good of a target to ignore. Brogallo recruits two more mercenary companies with officers, successfully hiring 27 crossbowmen and 24 light infantry per DMG pg 30. He pays to kit them out, but of course, doesn't trust them to keep quiet if they successfully defeat the usurpers. Working with Kleptikos, he discretely purchases enough poison from underworld contacts in Old Brightwood, Tallow Watch and Valthrun (type A and type C, per DMG pg 20) to kill them all after the treasure is recovered. Let's not forget that both of the Bros are Neutral Evil, not to mention bloodthirsty bastards, so this is absolutely in character! If the existing mercs have a problem with this, well, they can be dealt with as needed...

    I randomly roll for direction and distance and find that the usurpers have fled northeast and are 8 hexes distant, putting them in Hex 311.289. I roll up an NPC Party for the usurpers per DMG Appendix A pg 175 and decide that they'll have a group of berserkers as fanatic followers, mainly because I'm tired of bandits and want something a little different. I roll up a group of 52 berserkers with leaders per MM. In terms of loot, I decide the treasury will be Treasure Type H (again per the MM), and the berserkers will have additional loot per their MM entry.

    Brogallo leads his warband out of Old Brightwood (starting hex 302.295) and begins searching. I'm using a d6 to determine random direction on the hex map and checking for random monsters as the Bros enter the hex. I hit paydirt immendiately as hex 303.294 comes up with...a white dragon! Of course, this must be Zenabarithon and his hungry mate looking for snacks!!

    I check for surprise and the Bros win 4-1 which gives them 2 segments of surprise attacks. Zenabarithon was caught lacking by his opp!! Encounter distance is 12", so I decide the boys catch the dragons in mid-flight. The bros open fire with all available missile weapons and roll insanely well, scoring 29hp on Zenabarithon. ROF of composite longbows is pretty devastating in surprise attacks!

    Round1: Bros win initiative 4 to 1
    The mercs are affected by the dragons' fear aura and all flee in terror. One of the captains and two of the sergeants come from sterner stock, make their saves and stand fast. Missile fire from Brogallo, No Tiki, and Voon deal 14hp total, killing Zenabarithon!
    Manderbro casts Melf Minute Meteors for 6hp against the female dragon. Manderbro casts Fireball for 30hp and the dragon makes her save, taking 15hp

    Zenabarithon mate rolls 21% for breath weapon, so goes for a claw/claw/bite attack on Man-lee, hitting for 4hp

    Round 2: Bros win initiative 6-2
    Missile fire from Brogallo, No Tiki, and Voon deal 21hp total, killing Zenabarithon's mate. Vengeance is a dish best served cold (HA! see what I did there?)

    The Bros spend 16 turns rounding up the terrified mercs (see Dragon entry in MM for fear aura effects) and fortunately don't encounter any more trouble while doing so. They continue searching for the usurpers and have the following encounters while doing so:

    Hex 304.294: The home of Yuancheng Al-Khatib (Lawful Good)
    Reaction (20% reaction roll + Kleptikos 30% = 50% Neutral): The old hermit tells PCs he saw the usurpers fleeing northeast towards the villages. Being a good and kindly soul, he takes Brogallo aside as he turns his mount to continue his journey and says "Be careful if you go to the village of Eastsea. They are a queer and secretive people that have an unsavory demeanor about them. I don't know what they're hiding, but I think it is a deeply ingrained evil".

    Hex 307.293: The Hamlet of Eastsea (Chaotic Evil)
    Reaction (84% reaction roll + Kleptikos 30% = 114% Enthusiastic Friendly): Brogallo and Kleptikos immediately notice the odd appearance of the village and its inhabitants. There is an abundance of serpent imagery decorating the interiors and exteriors of their homes and there is an unmistakable marine odor of rotting fish, though the village is nowhere near the sea. The villagers themselves seem to have an oily sheen to their skin and speak with an excessive sibilance. Their jewelry repeats the serpentine motif seen on the buildings, though they oddly try to hide the items if they notice anyone staring at them too intently. Mysteriously, they are perhaps too enthusiastic in their welcome of the Bros as they tell Brogallo that they saw the usurpers heading north towards Cornhenge. They say there are about 60 savage looking troops led by a group of a dozen adventurer types. Brogallo and Kleptikos, hackles raised at the eerie villagers' behavior, thank them and quickly depart before the situation can spiral into chaos.

    Hex 307.292: The Hamlet of Kendra (Lawful Good)
    Reaction (95% reaction roll + Kleptikos 30% = 125% Enthusiastic Friendly): The villagers have received word from their friends and relatives in the village of Brofield (hex 302.291) about Brogallos victory over Zenabarithon and great the Bros as heroes. They tell Brogallo that two of the villagers followed the group and saw them make camp in the ruins in the mountains near the town or Welland. They think the group is looking to loot the town.

    Hex 307.291: The Hamlet of Cornhenge (Lawful Neutral)
    Reaction (46% reaction roll + Kleptikos 30% = 76% Friendly): The local chieftain tells them the usurpers were seen heading northeast and they should check at Kendra. The Bros spend the night to recharge.

    Hex 311.289: The Ancient Graveyard
    The boys make contact with the usurpers who have set up camp in the fields surrounding the ruins of an ancient temple and graveyard complex.
    Neither side is surprised (5-5) and encounter distance is 14". We proceed to combat using our mass combat rules.

    Round 1: Bros win initiative 6-1
    Crossbowmen hit berserker unit 1 for 8 kills
    Lancers 1st Company hit berserker unit 2 for 4 kills
    Lancers 2nd Company hit berserker unit 2 for 11 kills; berserker unit 2 wiped out
    Brogallo hits berserker unit 3 for 9 kills
    No Tiki hits berserker unit 3 for 8 kills; berserker unit 3 wiped out
    Voon de Goon hits berserker unit 1 for 11 kills
    Kleptikos hits berserker unit 1 for 1 kill
    Ah-Soh misses L10 berserker leader
    Man-Lee hits L10/L7/L6 berserker leaders for 6hp
    Manderbro casts Sleep against L1 berserker elites, taking out the unit

    Berserker leaders all hit Ah-Soh, killing him

    Remaining Berserker troops fail morale check with 38% and flee the battle

    Round 2: Bros win initiative 6-5
    Crossbowmen hit Usurper leaders, killing Kybold and hitting Mara for 8hp
    Lancers 1st Company get 8 hits on Mara for 31hp
    Lancers 2nd Company get 11 hits on Faris for 44hp
    Brogallo hits Faris for 10hp, killing him
    No Tiki hits Jue Basha for 5hp, killing him
    Voon de Goon hits L10 berserker leader
    Man-Lee hits Ienepa with Melf's Acid Arrow for total of 10hp
    Manderbro hits Ienepa with Burning Hands for 6hp

    Berserker leaders hit Kleptikos for 3hp
    Dejing hits Brogallo for 4hp

    Round 3: Bros win initiative 5-3
    Brogallo kills Ienepa
    No Tiki kills Olag
    Voon de Goon hits L10 berserker leader for 14hp
    Man-Lee hits Mara with Burning Hands for 7hp
    Manderbro hits Ienepa with his staff, killing her
    Dejing hits Brogallo for 7hp
    Berserker leaders hit Kleptikos for 7hp

    Round 4: Usurpers win initiative 3-2
    Remaining berserkers fail morale and flee
    Remaining usurpers fail morale and surrender:
    • Dejing pan Ark - Human Female Lvl10 Thief (True Neutral)
    • Yelu Falone - Human Female Lvl3 Cleric (Neutral Evil) 
    • Culrink - Surface Gnome Female Lvl3/3 Illusionist/Thief (Chaotic Evil) 
    A lot of action this session with more to come. Stay tuned for part 2...


    09 April 2025

    Session 13 Downtime: Methikles Is Breaking Bad

    The Bros are starting to move up in the world, so I decide it's time to start building up their secondary capabilities.  

    1. Blastikus and Krall set about dividing their very lucrative spoils and come to amicable agreements on division. They both have enough XP to advance, so they'll be unavailable for 2 weeks in training (23 April 2025). 

    2. Blastikus begins brewing Potions of Extra Healing with the help of Methikles. He starts today (7 April 2025) following the rules on DMG pg 116. This means that he will be able to brew 4 potions at a cost of 1600gp by 23 April when he will be out of time jail. This should help his survivability significantly.

    3. Blastikus, knowing the value of cannon fodder from recent events, makes a trip to Valthrun and recruits 17 light horsemen as well as 30 heavy footmen and accompanying captains and sergeants. A heavy force to be sure, but he'll need a personal retinue when in the field as well as someone to keep an eye on the Obsidian Tower while he's away. 

    4. Krall Diacan decides to begin his poison research per DMG pg 20. He will be out of action for 5 weeks at a cost of 3,000gp/week as he studies under a master and builds his inventory of components. Krall will next be available for adventure on 23 May 2025. Painful, but worth it in the long run.

    5. Krall decides it's time to get some hired muscle and recruits some henchmen from Tallow Watch. Following the guidelines on DMG pp34-35, Krall gets lucky with his rolls and recruits the following (after paying the fees and buying their kits, of course):
      • Shen Pisakar (L2 assassin; Neutral Evil)
      • Tuqtamur Haoennor (L1 fighter; Chaotic Evil)
      • Zahm Al-Bashir (L1 fighter; Chaotic Evil)

    I don't think I'm going to try to recruit any new party members yet since I'm going to try to level up their henchmen in the next few sessions. Let's see if the Hench-bros make it through the meat grinder...